Blobby

Awhile back I found this (sorry if it was from you…it was a long time ago and I don’t remember how I found it). Anyway, I found it rather entertaining and passed it on to several friends. We all picked our favorites. Mine was the Blobfish. He looked so sad and I felt for him. My friends laughed as they read the description and exclaimed, “You are a Blobfish!”

It was funny at the moment, but as the weeks have gone by I have had an awakening…maybe I actually am a Blobfish. Let us discuss its characteristics:

1. It is rarely seen by humans…I’m getting better, but I am still a bit of a hermit.
2. The flesh of the blobfish is primarily gelatinous…nuf said.
3. It floats above the sea floor without expending energy…not so much with the floating or the sea floor, but I can definitely be a lazy sack.
4. It lacks muscle…I’m weak sauce.
5. It primarily swallows edible matter that floats by in front it…this is the one that is truly hitting home and disturbing me…I must expound below.

I don’t eat lunch at work. I try and only eat when I am actually hungry. But I have noticed that the Blobfish style of eating is really what I practice. Put food in front of me…I will eat it. This is especially problematic around the holidays and when you work for a construction company that likes to keep the big burly men fed well at all times. My real issue with this practice goes back to Blobfish characteristic number two.

Why can’t I be a gazelle or a tiger…something remotely unlame?