Update

I started this entry with the obligatory "long time, no blog," but that is lame...so let's skip that part.

I am a busy lady. And on my priority list, blogging falls right below brushing my hair, and I can't remember the last time I even did that. But I am testing a hypothesis that my cathartic bitching here makes me a more pleasant person to be around in real life.

If I can make myself in any way less of a pain in the ass to the people that I love...I am down.

So here goes...

Let me catch you up on what has happened since my last post...which was...holy hell...a year ago! Time flies and all that.

Well, I'm still with Boyfriend, but we have given him a promotion. That's right, we are getting married in August. Weeee! In light of his upgraded status, I should change his name to Fiance (said with some silly french accent and written with some silly french accent mark that I can't find on my keyboard), but I find few words as obnoxious as that one, so instead we will call him “Boyfriend+,” until the big day.

In preparation for the biggest day of my life (seriously…this is gonna be some crazy circus of wedding...just ask my mom) I, of course, went dress shopping. When the girl at the first bridal boutique suggested that I might be better suited at the big and tall bridal shop down the road, I decided it was diet time.

My super special diet involves lean protein with tiny amounts of fruits and veggies. Sounds good...in theory. The day they handed me the list of things that I was allowed to eat, I snorted out loud. Hmmm...fish...turkey...pork (bacon doesn't count)...eggs...basically everything I don't eat. There were a grand total of two things on the list that sounded mildly appetizing to me...chicken and fat free cheese. The problem is that fat free cheese doesn't sound too bad...until you realize that all the cheese that you believed to be fat free, was really just low fat. In fact, fat free cheese is some heinous cheese knock off. Imagine the consistency of tofu with less flavor and orange food coloring...that sounds tasty compared to fat free cheese. But then again, chicken breast isn't exactly my ideal replacement for my Lucky Charms. So yeah...the diet it is working...that’s what happens when you can't eat anything. Oh yeah...and the gallon of water a day. Do you have any idea how much freaking water that is?!?! A lot of freaking water. I don’t even like water…is that wrong? But I do think that is helping with the weight loss because I have to get up to pee every ten minutes.

So here I am, a year later…20 pounds lighter, a year older, getting ready to marry the man of my dreams and happier than ever.

Life is good...but that doesn't mean I have to stop complaining does it? We will get right on that tomorrow (or maybe the next day…don’t want to be too ambitious).