Unmotivated

You know that place where there is WAY too much to do, but you would just rather not...I live there.

Between work, planning a wedding and just plain life stuff, my time is more than spoken for.

But last night, instead of cutting out tiny paper flowers for my invitations or the millions of other diy-diculous things I have put on my plate, I napped...kinda right straight until morning.

Don't even get me started on stupid crap like taxes. Who has the time and energy for that nonsense?

I suppose I should just suck it up because everyone else has the same crap to do. But I'm pretty convinced that my brand of crap is particularly crappy.

Update

I started this entry with the obligatory "long time, no blog," but that is lame...so let's skip that part.

I am a busy lady. And on my priority list, blogging falls right below brushing my hair, and I can't remember the last time I even did that. But I am testing a hypothesis that my cathartic bitching here makes me a more pleasant person to be around in real life.

If I can make myself in any way less of a pain in the ass to the people that I love...I am down.

So here goes...

Let me catch you up on what has happened since my last post...which was...holy hell...a year ago! Time flies and all that.

Well, I'm still with Boyfriend, but we have given him a promotion. That's right, we are getting married in August. Weeee! In light of his upgraded status, I should change his name to Fiance (said with some silly french accent and written with some silly french accent mark that I can't find on my keyboard), but I find few words as obnoxious as that one, so instead we will call him “Boyfriend+,” until the big day.

In preparation for the biggest day of my life (seriously…this is gonna be some crazy circus of wedding...just ask my mom) I, of course, went dress shopping. When the girl at the first bridal boutique suggested that I might be better suited at the big and tall bridal shop down the road, I decided it was diet time.

My super special diet involves lean protein with tiny amounts of fruits and veggies. Sounds good...in theory. The day they handed me the list of things that I was allowed to eat, I snorted out loud. Hmmm...fish...turkey...pork (bacon doesn't count)...eggs...basically everything I don't eat. There were a grand total of two things on the list that sounded mildly appetizing to me...chicken and fat free cheese. The problem is that fat free cheese doesn't sound too bad...until you realize that all the cheese that you believed to be fat free, was really just low fat. In fact, fat free cheese is some heinous cheese knock off. Imagine the consistency of tofu with less flavor and orange food coloring...that sounds tasty compared to fat free cheese. But then again, chicken breast isn't exactly my ideal replacement for my Lucky Charms. So yeah...the diet it is working...that’s what happens when you can't eat anything. Oh yeah...and the gallon of water a day. Do you have any idea how much freaking water that is?!?! A lot of freaking water. I don’t even like water…is that wrong? But I do think that is helping with the weight loss because I have to get up to pee every ten minutes.

So here I am, a year later…20 pounds lighter, a year older, getting ready to marry the man of my dreams and happier than ever.

Life is good...but that doesn't mean I have to stop complaining does it? We will get right on that tomorrow (or maybe the next day…don’t want to be too ambitious).

First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage...

No post for three days, heartbreaking I know. And to make it even worse…this post isn’t funny. So sorry. If you want a laugh, wait til tomorrow. For today…I’m waxing philosophical.

I spent my labor day in Oregon, a place I swore never to return to, celebrating the marriage of an old friend. Being 25 is a rough time in the realm of love and marriage. It feels like everyone that I went to school with is getting married and having kids. One by one, all my friends are getting married off. And for the most part, I am cynical. I don’t know why…I didn’t come from a broken family…but I find it difficult to not enter the pools of “how long will it last?”

But the wedding that I attended this weekend was different. Although very close when we were children, the bride and I had drifted a apart over the past 20 years or so, and just recently began communicating more. This wedding was beautiful. Every detail, every tradition, everyone was seamlessly included to make the most wonderful celebration.

They one thing that seemed absolute as my friends shared this multi-day wedding, was that this was “for real.” I never once doubted that these two people would be together forever. They are the most beautiful team. I found myself getting choked up over and over at this wedding, not the norm for this hardened realist. But what these two people have is unbreakable and fulfilling and extraordinary, the kind of thing that wakes a person up at 3:00 a.m. and forces them to write about it.

On Procrastination

I have been a procrastinator since I was a wee one. I distinctly remember having a bumper sticker on my desk that said “procrastinate later,” when I was younger. Actually, I don’t think I had it because I was actually a big procrastinator…it was more just because I was proud of myself for knowing a big word like “procrastinate.” But regardless…at my current age…I have definitely adopted the “last responsible moment” approach or even the moment just after that.

I don’t really understand why I feel the need to wait to do stuff. Time after time I get burned. Case in point:

I have known for nearly a year of a friend’s wedding. Trying to be a thoughtful friend, I thought of a really nice hand-made gift and got started on it super early. Feeling pretty happy with my progress I put that project away. Fast forward eight months…the wedding is a week from today…and I am not done. Oops. No biggie…I’ll just work my ass off this weekend. Oh wait…there are no stores open this weekend in the bay area to buy the supplies I need? Oops. I guess I’ll just buy them something from their registry. Oh…there is nothing left on the registry? I suck.

I should stop procrastinating.