Friday, October 5, 2007

How Many Ashleys Does it Take to Kill a Plant?

One.

I have what they call a black thumb. Cut flowers are perfect for me…because regardless of soil and roots, if you give me a plant it will be dead in 4-7 days. But I managed to murder my most recent green gift in a record 2 days.

My wonderful Aunt gave me a lovely plant and I put it safely in the back seat of my car.

“I am totally going to forget about it,” I said as I shut the car door.
“Don’t worry, I’ll remind you,” said my wonderful boyfriend.

Next day…at work…

“Did you remember to get you plant out of the car?” said the wonderful boyfriend.
“NO! I suck! I will do it in a minute,” I said as I wrote a giant post-it with the word “PLANT” and stuck it to my computer screen.

36 hours pass…I go out to the car and find my poor pathetic plant…DEAD!

I am a horrible person and I am going to hell.

1 comment:

Jonathan said...

What's that roaring noise I can hear deep under the ground ?

Oh yes - it's the core of the earth. I forgot. Hell doesn't exist.

Well, perhaps it might - but certainly not for plant murderers. I think.