Thursday, October 4, 2007

Networking Tips for the Socially Stunted

Networking can be tricky business. Here are my simple steps to mediocre success in a social situation. Watch and learn:
  1. Stand with your back to a wall…that way you can see everyone who might come up and try to talk with you.
  2. Make sure to wear lots of jewelry so you have something to play with to look busy.
  3. When you can’t think of anything to say, just giggle and mumble a little…people will think you are talking but will be too polite to ask you to speak up when they think they can’t hear you over the party noise.
  4. Eye contact is dangerous…don’t do it…or else people will talk to you.
  5. Eat…a lot…it isn’t polite to talk with your mouth full.
  6. Find the one person you know and glom on…don’t let go.
  7. When all else fails…break into a almost jog and go in and out of doors like you are doing something super important.
With these easy techniques you can be just as much of a party goober as I am.

1 comment:

Jonathan said...

"glom on"... now there's a new term for my lexicon of great things to say.

I always found it easy to talk to people at parties - but this ends up with you being everybody's friend rather than the aim of their desires.

I spent years being the best friend of girls I liked more than I let them know.

Yes, I am an idiot. lol